blogging, Guest post, memories, problem solving, The Happy Book, Valentine's Day, Wisdom, Wisdom Wednesdays

Wisdom Wednesday: The Happy Book

PhotoFunia Keep Calm Regular 2014-03-03 04 02 10

I was so excited , that I actually squealed when my inbox revealed that Sophie, from British Chick Across the Pond had sent me her Wisdom Wednesday post.  This is the very first guest poster to appear on The Ravenously Disappearing Woman, and I couldn’t be happier.

Sophie writes about her life and adventures as a mom and military wife, living in the US away from her native England.  I first met Sophie through her The 9 Things that KILLED Valentine’s Day post.  I find her writing to be humorous, honest, and quite heartfelt.  Her Wisdom Wednesday post is no exception.

So, without further adieu, I give you the British Chick Across the Pond, Sophie’s story of The Happy Book…

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IMG_5097Lets just say an ‘eventful’ pregnancy- as far as my relationship was concerned- had caused me to develop a few abandonment issues. Forgiving and forgetting was NOT going well- even worse my past experiences were stopping me from moving forward with my life. Years down the line, my son was growing and changing, trying my patience through his ‘terrible twos’ stage while I was still blaming potential love-interests for the mistakes my ex had made. As a last-ditch attempt to stop accusing the world and his mother of plotting against me- I gave hypnotherapy a go.

The first session was awkward and I was nervous but determined to give it my all in order to finally release myself from the trust issues that had such a hold on me. He took me through some breathing exercises to encourage me to relax a little and asked me to think of a happy place…it could be a place I had been, an object, a time, an occasion… anything that made me remember feeling truly happy. Honestly, I was stumped.

Any happy time I could think of was tainted by what had happened before or after. The birth of my son for example- of course I was overcome with happiness when he was born…but recalling it made me feel very sad -and angry-that his dad hadn’t been there with me. I considered using a place I would visit growing up…oh but then I stopped going once my parents told me about their divorce. Even that statement necklace I had picked up for an absolute bargain didn’t work…especially as the last person to wear it was my friend and…well we weren’t friends anymore. It seemed that everything I tried was ruined by something. I explained my dilemma to the therapist and went away with the task of sourcing my happy place.

I began writing the odd word or phrase on each page of a small, new notebook; something each day that I was grateful for….that made me smile…that made me happy. I stuck in photos, cinema tickets…even friends -eager to help me on my mission- wrote messages in there for me. It felt good to have a fresh start, a clean slate, a place to store all the new – untainted – memories I was making. This book was creatively named “The Happy Book” IMG_5098

It worked too, by the time I had my next session I had a good few happy things stored up to use. I know many people are skeptical about hypnotherapy but the way I see it the idea is to alter your way of thinking – and all I know is it certainly altered mine. I came away feeling lighter, more positive and yes I’m sure the deep breathing and relaxation played a massive part in that – what mother DOESNT need some help relaxing? – but hypnosis or not I came away from those sessions a lot happier…and I believe my Happy Book had a lot to do with that too.

A few years on I find myself happily married (most of the time) (<– joking) and a lot less paranoid…you could even go as far as saying perhaps a little too trusting these days. I have continued to add to my ‘Happy Book’ – in fact I am onto book number 3 now, extending as far as a giant book – of thigh rubbing good times- which was given to me by my boss as a leaving gift, not to mention a few pretty boxes for those things I couldn’t fit in a book and couldn’t bear to part with. I can’t imagine life without it. It’s wonderful to have something to look back on, something safe, close just in case I need a pick-me-up– which I am pleased to say is not very often (touch wood)- and something that will stop the smallest negative from clouding everything else around me. The Happy Book has without a doubt become my happy place.

My experience taught me to let in the good when faced with the bad; that in the grand scheme of things these ‘huge problems’ that occasionally arise aren’t really that big…especially when faced with a whole book load of good things. It taught me to hold on to and cherish the happy moments and memories…and encouraged me to continue making more.

Doesn't this story just make you want to start your own happy book or box?
Doesn’t this story just make you want to start your own happy book or box?

If you would like to participate in Wisdom Wednesdays, please email me at clares1964@yahoo.com. I’d love to read stories of how life’s situations have helped you gain personal wisdom.  I welcome writers of all ages and experiences. 

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18 thoughts on “Wisdom Wednesday: The Happy Book”

    1. YAY!!! I’m glad you’re here, too!!! Make sure you let your followers know you’re here. It seems to be a slow morning on WordPress, but I’m confident more people will show up for the party! 🙂

  1. I especially like the idea of a “tin” for this; so I’m going to make a small, Altoids mint container full of good items (very portable). Terrific strategy you have there Sophie; thanks for sharing it!

  2. Reblogged this on British Chick Across The Pond and commented:
    The Ravenously Disappearing Woman invited us to take part in her Wisdom Wednesdays – Here is my first ever guest post about something very close to my heart. Make sure to check out some of her other posts and if you would like to add your words of wisdom her contact details are below mine 🙂

    1. Mine too 🙂 but I’ve had to force myself to confine any smaller clutter-esque goodies to my happy boxes otherwise I probably wouldn’t be able to find my child most days 😉 the problem now is that I have a lot of boxes…. BUT who complains about having too many happy memories? 🙂

  3. Guest posts are always a great way to spread the word Sophie, and this was a good one to start with. Nice to see you ‘around’ on the blog, as well as at BC.
    As ever, Pete. XX

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