Lately, the movie Shrek has been on my mind. Not the whole movie, just the part where Shrek tells Donkey, in so many words. that “ogres are like onions, they have layers.” Shrek’s simple description of the complex stratum of his personality has felt quite apropos as of late, since I’ve been feeling fairly “oniony” myself. (Please note that I said “feeling,” not “smelling”–I smell quite nice, according to my husband!) The truth is, for many years, I was shrouded in a fairly ample “layer” of about 95 unneeded pounds (the size of your average 6th grader) of body fat. That layer was so many things for me; my shield, my shame, my hiding place, my most loyal friend and my greatest enemy. This bittersweet layer that was both my comfort and downfall was a difficult one to let go of, both in terms of the hard work it’s required and in the anxiety of becoming a different person.
Now that I’m this new, shining, fit and healthy woman, nearly everything about my life is different. With my physically largest layer gone, I don’t take up as much space, but I feel like I have a more massive presence in my world. With my anxieties managed, I see my future laced in possibilities, activities, and adventures. Most importantly, without my mind obsessively thinking about my worries, and what I’ll eat to mask them, I’m capable of immersing myself in deeper thoughts and aspirations. This has put me in a new state of “layer exploration.”
Call it a midlife crisis (the good kind without extramarital affairs or fast cars), but I have new interests and ways that I want to improve myself in order to have the happiest, most fulfilled and balanced life possible. This notion brings me to my blog. As you may have read, I’m in the maintenance phase of my weight loss program. I’ve had calories added to my diet to halt my weight loss and allow me to stay at my target weight through eating properly and continued physical activity. Keeping my weight off will always be a measure of work, but I’ve been given a manageable formula for doing so. This is a topic that I will frequently write about, but I’d like to delve into other layers with deeper subjects like core beliefs, spirituality, and self-actualization. I think with this new phase of my weight loss program, my blog needs some updating, and maybe even a name change. What do you, my readers think? Would you like to explore more topics along with me? Want to join me in my positive mid-life crisis? Let me know in the surveys and in your comments.