blogging, dealing with food cravings, emotional eating, finding balance, losing weight, Maintaining Weight Loss, The Daily Prompt, Uncategorized, weight loss and deprivation, weight loss journal, Writing

In that place where I don’t bulge out…

via Daily Prompt: Caper

Oh, but I fall into excuses, even when I promise myself, and my world, that I won’t.  There’s one more hot dog, because it’s the fourth.  There’s the giant crab cake sandwich, because I’m sick and the prednisone makes me so hungry.  There’s frozen yogurt because, well, because it’s Sunday and I’m with my daughter who loves fro-yo, and it has protein in it.

There’s an extra cup of coffee with cream, because I got up so damn early this morning, and I have a headache from the cough syrup.  I can keep going, but I know what I sound like.  My real personal truth is that I like food and I like coffee and I like doing things that I like.  I don’t want to practice self-control because self-control isn’t fun. Self-control is like being mired in dog shit in the middle of an amusement park.

My shunning of self-control would be awesome if it didn’t conflict with other things that I  adore; like cute clothing and my underlying desire to fit neatly in the same box as most other people.  In essence, my secretive shallow nature is in constant disagreement with my lack of constraint.

So, I have “start-fresh-Mondays” where I get out my food journal and log every calorie and nibble until they are all I can think about.  As I shower, 190 runs through my head.  I vacuum with 370 and watch Friends reruns with 860 on my mind.  Is it too many, is it enough? Can I just have a cheese stick?  Always that damn careful balance!  I pray I can go to bed with the gnawing. I can picture angry little flesh-colored “pac-men” eating away my fat as I run my hand flat against my torso.  Are those my ribs sticking out?  I’ll look great in that skirt; no one will know I’m a fat girl on the inside.

I know I’m wrong, and different, but maybe not.  It’s  simply a caper against myself.  We all have secrets, some salacious some mundane. I’m hoping to be somewhere in the middle; in that place where I don’t bulge out.

blogging, Crafting to lose weight, Daily Prompt, Writing

Persuing Perfection

My husband has so eloquently inspired me to participate in the daily prompt with his wonderful post, that I just couldn’t resist!  Today’s magical Daily Prompt, is “Express Yourself:  Do you love to dance, sing, write, sculpt, paint, or debate? What’s your favorite way to express yourself, creatively?

Until my husband’s urging, I ignored this prompt.  This is mostly because I’ve always felt much like the “jack of all trades, master of none,” kind of girl.

  • I love to write, but other than an article in a tourism magazine (that no one reads) during my stint in public relations, I’ve never been published.
  • I’ve been told I’m naturally funny and quick-witted by friends, but my humor has never stretched further than my inner circle, and maybe a few blog posts.
  • I’m an excellent cook, but can’t chop onions with lightning fast speed like a Cordon Bleu chef or make creations that grace foodie magazine covers.
  • I dabble in crafting and painting, and can get lost in pretty colors and designs, but I’ve seen better work in the home décor section of Target.
  • I was involved in theatre for many years, and was even in a PBS film as an extra, but I seriously doubt that I’ll ever be handed a Tony or Oscar for any of my performances.

I find it both humorous, and frustrating, that with every creative endeavor that I undertake, I’ve had an unrealistic expectation to be perfect at it; to prove that I have a gift. Perhaps, this has much to do with my upbringing.  My younger brother was a true child prodigy.  He was the kid you might see on Oprah, or YouTube.  At the age of four, he could play classical piano beautifully, with absolutely no lessons. Gifted with perfect pitch, and the ability to mimic any song he heard, he received quite a lot of notoriety.  Just three years older than him, I usually felt like most of my creative outlets were just that; outlets, hobbies, ways to relax or blow off steam.  As I’ve gotten older, and much closer with my brother, I’ve realized that not being perfect in my creative expression is perfectly fine, and that being creative has more to do with the enjoyment of the process, rather than the flawlessness of the skill.

And maybe artistic creativity isn’t meant to be my true gift…

Last week, my best girlfriend who has been struggling with a brain injury, sent me this text “Every time I’m with you, It’s like you breathe life back into me.  I’m so pumped up, excited, and looking forward to life after we hang out.”   That compliment was better than ANY Tony award!

For your viewing (or maybe eye-rolling) pleasure, here’s some of my “art” :

Every artwork looks "real" in a frame!
Every artwork looks “real” in a frame!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look out, Target Home Décor section!
Look out, Target home decor section!

 

 

My needle-felted turtle
My needle-felted turtle

 

 

 

**What are your creative outlets? Do you strive for perfection, or just to enjoy yourself in the process?**

 

 

 

 

Here’s how some other bloggers express themselves:

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

    1. Freedom in a pen | MC’s Whispers
    2. YouTube Clips: Daily Prompt | ALIEN AURA’S BLOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
    3. Jamming | Knowledge Addiction
    4. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
    5. The Match (Part 5) 40 Acres | The Jittery Goat
    6. Singing All The Way | Knowledge Addiction
    7. DP Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | Sabethville
    8. Write to Heal | From Hiding to Blogging
    9. Xi’an, the Place with Enriched Stories | From Hiding to Blogging
    10. Taipei – a Mesmerizing City | From Hiding to Blogging
    11. Broken Dreams? | Tale of Two Tomatoes
    12. Daily prompt – Express yourself! | myjourneyeveryday
    13. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | benjaminsolak
    14. Bed Talks | Views Splash!
    15. The Creator God and His Gift to Us | meanderedwanderings
    16. Express Yourself | Dragon Droppings
    17. Express Yourself | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
    18. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself-Is it Children’s Obligation to Take Care of Their Parents? | Journeyman
    19. I teach! | Purplesus’ Blog
    20. Quadruple Threat [Intimate Sessions] | She Writes
    21. [M.M.X.I.V. 95] The dancing feet | Never A Worry
    22. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
    23. Building Blocks of a Project | Photography Journal Blog
    24. More than an Expression…an Extension of Me | snapshotsofawanderingheart
    25. E Is For Expressing Yourself | My Little Avalon
    26. My Games… | from dusk to dawn….
    27. Creativity in pranks, viruses and retaliation: This week’s weird and wacky news « psychologistmimi
    28. Reach High | Flowers and Breezes
    29. Freedom In Expression | Coffee With Jesus
    30. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
    31. DAILY PROMPT: Express Yourself | Melissa Holden
    32. My dog doesn’t see the point of leg weaves |
    33. 8 things I have to say about debate | Never Stationary
    34. A Small Guest With a Box of Sweets | wisskko’s blog
    35. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | thechangingpalette
    36. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself! | I Just Like Doing Them | Shawn Daily
    37. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
    38. Sunset Over India | Broken Light: A Photography Collective
    39. Daily Prompt Express Yourself : Joy | Angela McCauley
    40. Please Don’t Call Me A Writer
    41. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself | Words4jp’s Blog
    42. Therapy | In the Present
    43. Daily Prompt: Express Yourself | That Montreal Girl
    44. Daily Prompt: Express yourself | A cup of noodle soup
    45. Express Yourself | Kimmiecode
    46. Daily prompt: Express yourself! | Go, See, Live
    47. Express Yourself | The Land Slide Photography
    48. you keep me at varying | y
    49. No Such Thing as Self-Expression | Author Laura Lee
    50. Comin’ Through the Rye | Speculative Paradigm Shifts

 

 

Appreciation, blogging, Daily Prompt, Having fun, Writing

An Uncomplicated Code

There are several codes that have made an impression on me.

  • There’s Dexter’s code of killing only those who deserve it.zombieland-rule-4
  • In the movie Zombieland, Columbus had a code for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse.
  • Hammurabi created a code that covered everything from food to religion.
  • The Samurais had the Seven Virtues of Bushido to follow as their code.
  • Dan Brown made us ponder the traditional version of the Bible in The Da Vinci  Code.
  • Dr. Phil McGraw has a plethora of acronyms and tips for avoiding bad people in his book Life Code.
  • Even good old Samuel Morse created a useful code for us.

My code for living isn’t quite as complicated as all of these.  I don’t have the stomach for killing, the agility for Samurai-ing, the Texas witticisms of Dr. Phil,  or the memory to decipher dots and dashes. (Heck, I can barely remember my gym locker combination!)

Part of my code looks like the rule chart in my old classroom:

a class

  • Treat others as you would want to be treated
  • Respect yourself, the people, and things around you
  • Always try your best
  • Ask for help when you need it
  • Keep your work area clean and neat

Another section resembles the rules at an amusement park:

  • Have fun!
  • Go easy on the cotton candy

    Hang on!
    Hang on!
  • Keep arms legs and objects inside of the car at all times
  • Hold onto the safety bar when the ride gets bumpy

The final section of my code could be right out of a self-help book:

  • Discover your bliss
  • Feed your soul
  • Appreciate the little things
  • Stay connected to the power of positivity
  • Accept yourself and others as they are
  • Let go of the past
  • Forgive with all of your heart

acceptance

 

This post is in response to the Daily Prompt.  Do you have a code for living?  What is it?

Here’s my very intelligent husband’s response.

And…some other lovely people who participated:

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

    1. LOVE, SEX AND SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES [Reblog] | She Writes
    2. Life | Kate Murray
    3. Texting Or Talking? | The Jittery Goat
    4. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | The WordPress C(h)ronicle
    5. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | mayeverydayahappyday
    6. Revelation | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
    7. Patriot | Perspectives on life, universe and everything
    8. DP Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | Sabethville
    9. Don’t be a d*ck. | thoughtsofrkh
    10. Walk the Line: Daily Prompt | ALIEN AURA’S BLOG: IT’LL BLOW YOUR MIND!
    11. do your best and leave the rest to fortuosity | eastelmhurst.a.go.go
    12. This teacher’s code | One Educator’s Life
    13. Cherish Time | wisskko’s blog
    14. rivington | yi-ching lin photography
    15. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice
    16. My codes: A photo essay | The Bohemian Rock Star’s “Untitled Project”
    17. [M.M.X.I.V. 89] Texts, letters, talking | Never A Worry
    18. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah
    19. Respect The Artist, Respect The Work | Goodnight Hestia
    20. Creed « Averil Dean
    21. Daily Prompt: I Walk The Line-Psychology: Understanding Why We Do What We Do | Journeyman
    22. Values For Sheen | Flowers and Breezes
    23. Codes 1, 2, and 3 | Among the Whispers
    24. What’s My Line(s)? | The Zombies Ate My Brains
    25. 287. The Moral Compass | Barely Right of Center
    26. Walking the Mommy Line While out on Business Travel « psychologistmimi
    27. What Would Life Be without Them? | Ms. Raven Marie
    28. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | Completely Disappear
    29. A Marauder May be a Good Person in Disguise | Virginia Views
    30. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | My Atheist Blog
    31. We all have values | Lisa’s Kansa Muse
    32. Taking Off My Shoes | Kosher Adobo
    33. Difference Engine | Speculative Paradigm Shifts
    34. life… ruless hahahaha.. it is wrekless | from dusk to dawn….
    35. Staying in Focus: Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line: Love Will Keep Us Together | Staying in Focus
    36. I Walk the Line (Daily Prompt) | Roving Bess
    37. I Walk the Line | The Nameless One
    38. Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it | An Upturned Soul
    39. Daily prompt – i walk the line | myjourneyeveryday
    40. There is a Bigger Picture.. | B.Kaotic
    41. Pizza’s and Such! | Views Splash!
    42. “Have You Done Your Chores?” | I’m a Writer, Yes I Am
    43. Where is the Line? | cateritforward
    44. Live life! | Always was a rebel…
    45. Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line | Bob’s Blog-O-Rama
    46. Daily Prompt: I walk the line | Simply about Life
    47. Divergent in Photography and Thought | Pairings :: Art + What Goes With It
    48. An Uncomplicated Code | The Ravenously Disappearing Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

blogging, Daily Prompt, love, marriage

Every Fiber of my Being

a soul mateMy high school days were those of being dateless and dance-less, with a generous sprinkling of bedroom crying and wondering why “he” didn’t like me.  When “he,” the boy I’d obsessed over from my eighth grade year through my 12th grade graduation, came out to me our freshman year of college it explained a great, massive lot.  I now knew why all of our trips to the movies never involved hand holding, and why, in spite of my rocking teenaged body, skinny dipping in the river never led to more than swimming. During all of those years of hoping, my mother had gently assured me time and again that he wasn’t the one. ” Be patient. You’ll know in every fiber of your being when the right one comes along,” she’d promise.  I held her to that promise, even after she was no longer with me.

My college years were much better in the dating department.  Many times, I consulted with the “fibers of my being” just to inquire, but none of them turned out to be the elusive “one” that I was so searching for.  When my mother died during my junior year of college, my loneliness and grief made my quest for Mr. Right rather sloppy. I dated pretty boys and players ripe to take advantage of my vulnerability.   In no time, I found myself pregnant and wed to Mr. Wrong.  Not that Mr. Wrong was a horrible person, we just weren’t ready for all that life had to throw us in the seven years that we attempted to play house.

Two children and one divorce later, I cautiously resumed my search after some proper healing.  This time, I was armed with past experience.  I knew myself and what I wanted and needed.  When my soul-mate entered my life I was 36 years old.  I hadn’t heeded my mother’s advice of being patient, but her words of knowing he was the right one with “every fiber of my being” rang true.

My husband is hands down, balls to the walls, the best man I’ve ever known. We have our differences. He’s steak, I’m broccoli.  He’s serious, I’m silly.  He loves the music of the 70s and I’m a top 40s kind of girl. He’s History Channel and I’m MTV. Despite our variances,  we fit together in every aspect of life that’s important. We share responsibility and fun, joy and sadness, beliefs and dreams.  Each of life’s chapters that we enter, we endure and prosper hand in hand.  The fibers of our beings have long ago intertwined, and he is my forever soul-mate.

This is in response to the Daily Prompt.  Have you found your soul-mate, or are you still on your quest?  (Don’t worry, there’s someone for everyone.)

This is what my soul-mate had to say about me!

blogging, Daily Prompt, Having fun, learning

Responsibly Immature

cleverly responsible buttonMy youngest was about twelve when she  laughingly said, “I love how you are, Momma!  You’re responsibly immature!”  She was, and still is, correct. My responsible half never allows me to be late for anything.  I pay my bills the day I get them in the mail. My house is mostly spotless, even in the corners and around the toilets. My pantry and fridge are stocked with healthy foods and drinks.  My car never has less than a half tank of gas in it, and I’ll always be the designated driver. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, and quickly apologize. I vote, even in referendum elections, and would never think of trying to get out of jury duty. I’m well-read, watch documentaries, love art, and classical music. I wear utilitarian bras, sensible underwear, shoes that won’t cause me to slip, and have the world’s largest cardigan collection.  I have gum, snacks, a water bottle and Band-Aids in my purse at the ready. I’m basically your all-around, go-to girl when something needs done. I can always, without a doubt, be counted on.

My immature side knows all of the words to the latest top 40 pop hits.  I’m up on entertainment news and know more about Ke$ha than a 49 year-old woman should.  I adore trashy TV and have even

These girls shop for their bling at Michael's just like I do!
These girls shop for their bling at Michael’s just like I do!

met the Gypsies from TLCs Gypsy Sisters while shopping at Michael’s. I love tattoos and crazy hair. I’ve never owned mom jeans– and never ever will! I can twerk.  I’ll laugh to the point of tears at poop stories, and even have a few of my own to share.  I have boundless energy and am always up for new challenges and adventures. I build sand castles and play in the surf like a kid. I seize the day–and the night. I’m techno-savvy. I love going places, being busy, and meeting new people. In my head I feel seventeen with endless possibilities ahead of me. Those possibilities will always surround me no matter how many calendars I throw away and put up.  Life is fun and beautiful when you’re responsibly immature. Did I mention I can twerk?

This is my latest favorite song: (Who would guess that this nice, conservative-looking housewife likes to dance to this?)

This post is in response to the Daily Prompt.  What keeps you feeling young at heart?

Here are some other great posts about staying young at heart:

Secrets of the universe | Perspectives on life, universe and everything

food and family celebrations, Having fun, learning, my family is driving me crazy, The Daily Prompt

The Prankster gets Punked

I know I just published a post, but this is in response to The Daily Prompt and I just couldn’t resist answering it!

No one wants to be grabbed by  someone wearing one of these!
No one wants to be grabbed by someone wearing one of these!

As a child, I was always a prankster, but a few days before my last Halloween, I went a bit too far with my hijinks with terrifying a young neighbor boy by scratching on his window screen while making ghostly noises.  Getting caught by his mother, resulted in every true mischief-maker’s nightmare; my parents banned me from Trick-or-Treat.  The one night of the year dedicated to puckish pranks, and I was banished to doling out candy to little kids dressed like witches and super heroes.

In the days before my favorite holiday, I tried every method possible to cajole my parents into giving in and allowing me to participate, but to no avail.  I was forced to dress as a friendly fairy princess and hand out full-sized Hershey Bars and homemade candy apples to the masses of knocking children. Worst of all, my parents, who always had a group of friends over on Halloween, had invited the parents over of the boy who I’d scared.  Oh, the shame!

My twelve-year-old grumpiness mounted as I served up treats to the friends that I usually ran the neighborhood with.  One of them even had the cojones to show me the big roll of toilet paper that he had hidden in the pillowcase that he collected candy in.  I shoved a candy apple in his bag, hoping the red shell would crack, as I thought of all the lovely neighborhood trees that I wouldn’t be decorating with streamers of Charmin.

I’d grumbled through nearly all two hours of candy giving, when I saw a tall Trick-or-Treater ambling up my front yard.  He or she was wearing an oversized fur coat and black ski mask.  “This one’s definitely too old to be collecting candy,” I thought to myself.  I rolled my eyes as the behemoth candy grubber mumbled “Trick-er-treat!” in a low menacing voice.  I begrudgingly went to drop a candy bar into his outstretched pillowcase, when suddenly a leather gloved hand shot out from the over-size coat and grabbed my arm.  “You’re comin’ with me!”  the muffled voice said, as the tall Trick-or-Treater began pulling me down the front yard.  I fought, but this person was strong.  I screamed, but no one seemed to care about the kidnapping of a disgruntled fairy princess on Halloween night. Finally, halfway down my front yard, my captor raised a gloved hand to his mask and pulled it off to reveal the smiling face of MY GRANDMOTHER!  I was flooded with relief and dissolved into laughter as she pulled me into a big bear hug!

That spooky night, this lowly prankster got a taste of her own medicine.  Did it stop my impish nature?  Not wholly, but I never frightened a neighborhood kid again!

Here are some other Daily Prompt postings that you might enjoy!